Old soul

Sometimes I feel a lot older than 17.
Sometimes I feel a lot younger than 17.
I get people tell me I should act my age, to stop liking stuff I’m too old for, to stop doing things I’m too young to do
I’ve never been 17 before so how am I supposed to know how to act and how feel?

Erin tells me I’m an old soul, that I’m much more mature than most of my friends. I’ve asked her what she means and she says it’s because I’m not afraid to be on my own, because I love to learn, because I think before I do things and have everything all planned out.

I guess that’s true. I mean, a lot of my friends still don’t really know what they want to do when they finish college and I’ve got this big plan for everything. I like having tangible goals that I can work towards, it all makes sense to me.

And no, a lot of my friends laugh at some of the stuff I love to do. They don’t read for fun like I do. They think it’s weird that I enjoy baking – they eat what I make though! I get told knitting or doing wordsearches is for old people.

But… I don’t feel like I’m old. Sure, I feel like I know who I am and what I like. I do get distracted by new shiny things too though. I feel like my mood swings and ‘teenage angst’ are more controlled, and I’m calmer than I was, even a year or so ago.

In other ways though, I’m a pretty typical teenager. I worry about getting good grades in school and fashion and make-up and boys (and girls) and if I’ve got any zits and if I look fat. I love pop music and going to the cinema with my friends. I love sleeping.

Who makes the rules though? Who says that I can’t like certain things because I’m too young for them. Or too old for them. Why do ‘they’ say that I can’t have goals for the future and enjoy knitting and love Disney and Miley Cyrus and vampires and dinosaurs and pirates and dolphins and superheroes and baking and supporting my football team and doing wordsearches and like spending time with my friends and being alone?

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2 thoughts on “Old soul

  1. I know how you feel about that. How do we act our age if we never been that age before? Just like what you like, regardless of what anyone tells you. Forget those people that say those things and do your own thing. Always.

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  2. Just do what makes you happy. If you’re 17 and you like “old fogey” stuff, then that’s fine. Same thing whether you’re 50 and like “little kid” stuff. Everybody is different, and everyone also matures at different speed. I’ve always preferred the company of people older than me, too, because of my interests. However, I also hung out with people my age, too, so it’s good to have a sense of balance like you yourself pointed out 🙂

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